Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Sitting down here infront of my laptop, i begun my thoughts.. and after some serious thinking.. i've come to realise that i probably won't have a chance to be with her.. it's true that i gave up a lady who loves me for her.. it's true that i still have feelings for her.. but all these will come to naught. if i seriously think about it. I mean, so what if i like her, the ending question would be, does she like me ? I like her, but do i have a chance. Loving her and being together with her is 2 different issue altogether.

Went out for convention yesterday and met her in AMK K-Pool, after K-Pool, we went to suntec to LG only to find that customer service has shifted to redhill.. naturally, both of us were pissed.. not knowing what to do, i suggested coffee at the coffeebean.. i had ice blended mocha and she had it with cream..

We talked about many things, varying from her classmate Rain to her ex Desmond to our future goals and aspirations.. Took a cab and sent her home. In the cab, i thought about alot of things, from my past success to my current failure. And i thought about us, that was why i was sort of quiet in the cab.. back in my head, i was thinking if i should wait for a miracle to happen, that is for her to like me, which i think is not possible.. i know deeply in my mind and heart that she only treats me as a confidante and a closefriend. But as for relationship, i don't think i stand a chance.. although i very much want a chance

I 've come to realise that such things are not meant for human to intervene and thus i am all going to leave it to nature's course.

Now, as my winamp is playing JJ Lin - One thousand years later. I ask myself a question, why is that humans always hesitate to treat one another well like a close friend or a love ones, but only drop to their knees for forgiveness and cry when they are dying or they are not around.. this question is one that nobody can answer.

I have never regretted anything.. because i gave myself a chance and an attempt to woo her, although success seems so far off.. I don't know what to say except to ponder that if she's for me.. Maybe it's time for me to careless but to concentrate on building up my career and maybe, by that time, time will tell me if she's the one for me.. I solely believe in the principle of true sincerity moves one's heart.. i believe my sincerity will touch her heart someday.. someday..